I used to think that running from my fears was the right thing to do. If I was feeling insecure about something or nervous about an up coming social event let’s say, I’d stuff those feelings down deep, hoping they’d go away.
Here’s a little info about my past. I was raised in a home that valued decisiveness. It valued shooting from the hip. Turn and burn. There was not a lot of room for taking time to think things over or safely verbally process an issue. However, if I did express my worries or fears, I’d be told what to do, solved like a math problem, my fears erased from the equation and life moved on.
But my fears still lingered and kept popping back up. I found they still existed and I hadn’t the foggiest clue how to get rid of them. Growing up where fears weren’t allowed and even shamed, I became afraid of them. I wondered what was wrong with me that I felt this way.
Here’s the thing about coping like that, over time you learn not to trust yourself. Those stuffed fears feel unsafe to bring up and I didn’t know that I had the option to work through them and so I’d stuff some more.
If you would have told me that to overcome my fears and insecurities would be to face them, feel them and move through them, I would not have believed you. I would have suffered rapid heart palpitations right then and possibly fainted. How would looking at my fears help me overcome them? That sounded preposterous. It felt like death.
But, can I tell you a secret? That really is truth.
Looking at your fears helps to move forward in acceptance of your whole self. Our fears are a part of us that bares holding. To ignore and stuff those feelings is disassociating from that part of ourselves.
It would be like if you had large feet but really wished your feet were smaller, so you buy small shoes anyway. You walk around with your feet stuffed in too small of shoes. Right away your feet hurt and pretty soon your legs ache too and eventually your back and the rest of your body as well. Walking that way can only last for so long until you are desperate to change something.
In the same way, pretending your painful feelings don’t exist is like shoving those thoughts into too small of shoes. The pain your inflicting on yourself builds up in your heart and mind and influences not just your feet but your whole body.
The only one not accepting your feelings is, well, you. At first allowing space for your fears can be hard and it may feel like walking around in a new pair of shoes. They might feel tight at first or rub your heal, but through time they become comfortable and begin to be what your feet prefer.
Even though acknowledging our panful feelings might be difficult at first. There may be lots of shame lathered around them. So be sure to give yourself lots of compassion and grace. Be curious about why you may be experiencing shame. Pray and ask God to reveal to you what he wants you to know. Finally ask Jesus to show you how you should think in your particular situation with your fear. Make sure what you hear aligns with scripture and then move forward in to freedom, standing firm in faith that Jesus is who he says he is.
I believe this works but you can’t find freedom until you give your fears a seat at the table. There is so much power in acceptance. If we’re constantly slamming the door in fears face, it’ll keep coming back and coming back and you’ll continue to get frustrated at yourself.
In closing, a little selfie love just for y’all.
I invite you to follow me on instagram.
Post a selfie in your stories, tag me and hashtag it #jesuslovedme1st
Because Jesus loved you first you can 1. love him and 2. love others as you would love yourself (Mt 22:39).
Love yourself by taking time to accept all you - even your scariest fears and allowing Jesus to lead you to freedom. <3
Journal Prompts:
What are you struggling with right now? Write about what you think about it and how you feel about it. What what you think Jesus would tell you right now about it? Read what you wrote and then align it with the truth of the Bible and who God really is.
A Few of My Favorite Things:
THIS QUOTE: from my instagram earlier this weeek.
I truly believe that one of the reason we don’t like ourselves is because we can’t let go of negative stories we’re telling ourselves. We’re aren’t prefect, yes. But that doesn’t stop God from looking at his children with love and seeing the resurrection and redemptive work of Jesus Christ.
THIS SONG: I love the message in this new song Every Hour of Every Day by David Leonard. And his nod to the 90’s sound makes me happy too.
THIS VESRSE:
Colossians 1:3-4
We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people.”
Who are you thankful for? Reach out and tell them today.
Did something in this post resonate with you? Let me know by hitting reply in your e-mail. I’d love to connect.
Consider sharing with a friend.