What To Do When Your Struggling With Acceptance
Or at least where I offer a step in the right direction
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Happy fall greetings, friends.
I hope this newsletter finds you well, wherever you are today, in whatever fall looks like in your town. Traditionally I love fall. Being from Pennsylvania, I love when the weather cools down, the air gets nippier, leaves begin to change color and it’s a sign that we’re entering another season. Things are changing.
I’m drawn to do some reflecting this time of year. Not sure if it’s because of the change taking place and that we’re moving towards dark evenings, slower nights in, or reading with a cozy blanket and warm drink.
I always liked about myself - that I like fall. The flannel, campfires, cozy blankets and warm drinks in my hand.
And then I moved to Texas and months that were fall were absolutely nothing like fall.
In Pa, it gets colder by September. For sure, October is jeans and sweatshirt weather and it progresses from there. Days are cooler and the temperature drops at night. There are cornfield mazes, barn parties and hayrides. I love the colors of fall leaves and matching them to my wardrobe as well.
Now, here in Texas, we’re still tuffing out summer all through September and into October. Towards the end of October you finally begin to experience a little bit of chilly but come noon it’s back up to even 90’s sometimes. It’s SSOOOO different.
For various reasons, it was difficult for me to accept that difference. Now, after living here almost 14 years, it’s only been in the five years or so that I’ve come to accept fall in the south.
When you’re going through a season (pun intended) that is hard to accept, how do you respond? Each of us has our own story and reasons. We have our own way of coping with the not so pretty parts of our story.
I wrote before about how I had unrealistic expectations for my marriage and who Jason and I were. (You can read it here.) Only to later have a come to Jesus moment where I was honest about reality and admitted to myself we weren’t who I’d wanted.
When our stories aren't what we hoped for, it’s hard. If we can be open about our feelings with ourselves and get to a place where we’re able to be honest about what’s going on internally, then we can begin the work of true change. But first it takes being honest with ourselves. For me that can be so scary sometimes to do.
I think of Jesus, when he looked at the two disciples who were following him (John 1:38). He turned around and asked, “What do you want?”
It seems to me that’s a pretty poignant question. Something we would benefit from asking ourselves regularly. Even in the face of things we’re not willing to budge on.
What do you want?
What are you wanting right now? Can you name what it is you are seeking? What would be fulfilling in this moment? In this season? Maybe even in your life. We’re all seeking after something in our lives. We’re constantly moving towards something. We want something.
What do you want?
Those early years in Texas, I wanted fall to look like a Pa fall. I’ll be honest, it’s embarrassing now how stubborn I was to not let go of that. I was afraid that if I was honest about how I felt, then God would move my feelings to liking Texas Falls and I didn’t want that!
Until I was able to admit what I wanted, only then was my heart open to change. I’m still not wild about fall in Texas. It never lasts long enough for me and I miss the beautiful display of leaves. Down here get colors in the green/yellow, sometimes orange-ish schemes.
Even though it’s only a little change, I’ve recently been eager to spot them while driving. I actually kinda like it. Who knew! It’s Texas. It’s different and that’s ok.
I’m at peace with it.
And what a better place to be.
Much hope,
the dancer
Make a list of your top 5-10 things that you find fulfilling or that you believe would make you fulfilled.
Do they have a common denominator?
Is there any connection between that and what often gets in the way of time with God or other people?
And now,
A Few of My Favorite Things:
I started reading this book. So far it’s been really good and I feel comfortable recommending it here.
From the website-
You might not love what you think. In this book, award-winning author James K. A. Smith shows that who and what we worship fundamentally shape our hearts… We might not realize the ways our hearts are being taught to love rival gods instead of the One for whom we were made.
This coffee from Target. If you know me by now, I’m a sucker for any vanilla flavored coffee. And bonus points if it’s light roast.
In these still warm days of fall, I’ve loving that sweater vests are in style now. They look fall-ish enough without the full-on warmth of a long sleeve sweater. What a great way to look seasonal and yet not be sweltering. Mine was thrifted but here is a similar one with the same brand.
What are some of your favorite things these days? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.
After 23 years in Indiana and Ohio, I am finally accepting that I LOVE fall here! Growing up in Texas, I thought it was perfect because we normally didn't have any drastic weather changes and I enjoyed that. I have always considered Texas the best place to be, but this year I realized how much I am learning to enjoy the changing seasons and especially the beauty of Fall! Although winter will probably always be a thorn in my flesh, I do enjoy the beauty of freshly fallen snow. The way we grow up truly does affect how we see life! I really enjoy reading your blog and the next time we're in Texas, we need to get together. :)